i delicately palmed pearls

i delicately palmed, pearls
of sorrow, from the overflowing well
and threaded it with joy -
that rare gift you gifted me,
once sitting at my window…

at my window
i am still waiting for you
to see you flap down on your wordy wings..

at my window, just to bracelet you
with this garland of mine,
of sorrows and joy
of sorrows and joy…..

where are you, my angel
the air is void sans your words
where are you, my angel
the music is gone, sans your murmurs
where are you, my dear angel
i am left all alone, sans your giggles
i am left all alone, sans your giggles.

sorrow drizzles

sorrows drizzle as snow flakes
in a wintry morning,
slow but steady, the greenness of my life
is lost in dirty whiteness
as it veils the lone birch from the sunny hands…

i wriggle, wriggle and wriggle
to shatter the tyranny of whiteness
the whiteness of salt, the whiteness of sugar
and the dirty whiteness of surf excel…

You, Shakespearean fool*

you made us laugh -
laugh like waves at ease.

but as the laughter receded
we felt your brush
cutting through our flesh
like the untimely church bells
breaking the awful silence…

we felt the terror
we felt the pain
and we heard someone laugh at us

your brush ripped off the masks,
as a reward, they
measured the depth of your body
and left it in the gutter...

you, Shakespearean fool
rest in peace,
for your bold strokes has peeled off the skin
and made them lay bare
with all their sinister nudity
for us to be very cautious
of the saffron robes....


* written in memory of Irfan Hussain, Cartoonist
who was kidnapped, stabbed to death, and thrown into a gutter.

you blessed me with eternity

you never let me go
out of the nails
even your body was brought down
and laid rest on her lap
and was born, Michelangelo.

no crying mothers
no laughing soldiers
no jeering crowed ….

my life
a silent celebration
on the cross…
at the altar of wedlock….

and, not even from a far-off land
i could hear him, to create another masterpiece

in a mindless city of mouse games
you blessed me with eternity
you blessed me with eternity, of loneliness....

words

words, as termites on decaying wood
blankets my days & nights…

black, white, and multi-coloured
systematically woven texts….

rape, communal violence
ethnic cleansing & murder & farmer suicides
nuclear bombs, political encounters
all reduced to lines & columns
neatly arranged amidst pics of bulging boobs
threatening six packs ....

the whole country feeds on it
as pigs on shit, knowing not
just to be another ‘quality feed’
on the fascist’s table

oh mother,
termites, black & white
and multi-coloured
eat into my brain…

my life

my life, a candle without flame
melting into shapeless waste
on a deserted tomb, unnoticed

wasted passions
iced dreams, undelivered

dear father,
can my life be recycled?
can you breathe some shape into the waste,
so my dreams may flame again?

Buddha smiles*

the dark and desolate corners of the mind
frightens me like the sight of a dog
devilishly mourning at the full moon

the horror…the horror**
snaking down my bones
like blood from a fresh deep wound

they say
Buddha smiles in the wound of the desert
and proudly exhibit the jewel, Kargil; and boasts
it brings unity ….

in the night
i dreamt of mushrooms
and bubbling human skin…

mother,
are they going to drop the bomb?***


* written after india tested nuclear bomb which was shockingly given the code name, 'Buddha smiles'.

** Joseph Conrad - Heart of Darkness.

*** Pink Floyd